Like I had always feared, this scary conversation was always round the corner...I don't know how I managed to live through it...but I guess I just did...I was scared…really very scared to confront her…I knew she’d be shattered when I’ll break the news to her that I have to go…leave her forever…I did not even know how to begin…it sure was going to be tough…but I had to do it…I had to let her know about it…I really had no choice… so brace yourself for a heart wrenching conversation that's coming up....
She: Hey..
- - -I’m sure she already knows it…her tone doesn't seem right- - -
She: So, I hear you’re leaving?...forever?
Me: Umm…yes… I have to…
- - -She cut me short- - -
She: What?!?...what do you mean you have to?
- - - This is surely going to be a tough ride- - -
Me: Look…I’m really sorry…
- - -Cut me short again- - -
She: Oh yeah…that makes everything fine…I’m so much happier than I was a few seconds back!!
Me: Please…don’t do this…you’re making it hard for me…
She: Hard for you?!? Do you even know what I’m going through right now?!?
Me: I know…I really do…its really hard for me too…but I really can’t do anything about it…my mom thinks it’s the best for the two of us…
She: Oh…so your mom decides this?...Who have I been with? A 5-year old? I’d be behind bars if the police found out!
- - - Sarcasm coming out in an angry tone can give the effect of a sledge hammer rammed against your forehead that could knock you out- - - -
Me: Please…listen to me…I can’t go against my mom, can I?...that happens only in the movies…
- - - I could never be convinced with such stupid words…and here I’m using it as one of my countless meaningless reasons to leave- - -
She: And that’s why you’re leaving me? Because your mom said you should…you didn’t “consult” her when you met me, did you?
- - - At this point of time I had a feeling that I was losing my cool as well…but I stayed calm…after all, she was the love of my life and I was going to abandon her…my eyes sure are moist- - -
She: Come on…think about it…you can’t do this to me…you know me for 11 freaking years and we’ve been together for the last 2 of them…and all of a sudden you want to leave? Without a valid reason? Did I make any mistake? Whatever it is, please tell me…We really can make this work…please….
- - - Tear drops trickled down her cheeks…I choked- - -
Me: No no…you’ve done nothing wrong…you are surely the best thing that happened to me…and I still love you more than anything else…..
She: Then why are you leaving?...If nothing is wrong and you really love me as much as I love you, why would you leave?
Me: I really can’t help…its not a decision I chose to take…its someone else’s decision that’s just binding on me…I have certain responsibilities that I really can’t run away from…Its as heart breaking for me as it is for you…and that’s not a consolation…it’s just that certain things go through the process called change and many times they’re inevitable…this is very unfortunately one of those things…
- - - She looked at me helplessly…tears began to roll on faster…I felt worse…I couldn’t believe I was doing this to her- - -
She: So you’re saying you’re leaving in spite of the fact that you don’t want to? Who would do that?
- - - I couldn’t watch her cry anymore…this was when my tears broke out too- - -
Me: I know…I feel like a total idiot having to do something like this...but I really don’t have a choice…
- - - As I finished saying this, I gave this fact a thought…Did I really not have a choice? ...yeah I really didn’t- - -
- - - There was a pause…as she wiped her tears off her cheeks…and forced a smile…even with teary eyes and a half-forced-smile, she looked stunningly gorgeous...it made things tougher for me- - -
She: So, when are you leaving?
Me: In a week or two…can I ask you for one last favour?
She: I didn’t see this coming, I thought you already placed your knockout punch in my face a couple of minutes back…
- - - There goes the sledge hammer again…you can’t even duck- - -
- - -I just looked at her…managed a faint smile and looked down fighting my tears- - -
She: Okay...I’m sorry…so what can I do for you for one last time?
Me: Umm…Till I’m here…that is for another 7-10 days, can we spend time together…its going to be tough to not be around you…I just want to stay with you as much as I can till I leave…that’s about it…so can we?
She: Hmmm…I think we can manage that…
- - -She turned away fighting more tears and I did the same- - -
Both of us know that it’s going to be really tough to be living without each other…so we could probably live together for the next week and add another week to our glorious but short life together…I still can’t believe I’m going to leave her…
P.S:: "She" = My room!
